This Is A Bullet.

This Is What It Does.

Pair with: Dissipate - Such Is The Mind (Of A Realist)

So over the course of two reading sessions, I managed to knock out a short five issue Marvel series I have been interested in for a while, but unfortunately never got around to reading until recently. If you recognize the title and sub title of this blog, then you should know which I'm talking about. For those of you unfortunate enough to not have read this yet (and you really should) I am talking about Bullet Points, written by J. Michael Straczynski and penciled by Tommy Lee Edwards.

Let me just start off by saying what really caught my eye with this series was the art. Edwards did a fantastic job, and while I'm not sure who did the color, it just topped my long time first place comic, The Sentry: Hulk which was part of a 'series' of one shots of The Sentry reconnecting with his super hero buddies after he remembers who he is. Enough about Mr. Reynolds though, the art in Bullet Points is some of the best I've seen. Not because it is particularly realistic or even stunning, but the gritty raw feel of it matches very well with this alternate version of the Marvel Universe.

I especially love the homage to the classic Hulk cover.

The series starts, more or less, with the early death of Doctor Erskine, the creator of the Super Soldier Serum. This series takes a look at the ripples made when someone pulls the trigger just a day too soon. Well, with Erskine out of the picture and the Super Soldier Serum lost forever, the military turns to a desperate last option: The Iron Man project. You're thinking Downey, Jr. swoops in in his shiny red and gold and saves everyone while the Hulk naps in the other room, right? Wrong. Unlike the main cannon universe of Marvel, where Stark's chest plate keeps him alive, this version has to be surgically attached, permanently, to the wearer in order to make the Iron Man suit move. Also, the mechanisms and motors inside the Iron Man suit take up so much room that only someone of a pre-Super Soldier Serum Steve Rogers' size would fit inside. You guessed it. Ol' Steve Rogers isn't content with just not serving his country, so of course he volunteers to have this thing shoved onto/into his heart. Rather painfully, I might add.

There are some pretty cool other role reversals I won't go too in depth with, but essentially Peter Parker winds up as the Hulk, Bruce Banner becomes Spider-Man and Reed Richards takes up the mantle of the eye-patch wearing leader of S.H.I.E.L.D. (MUTHA FUCKA!). I don't want to ruin it, but the story climaxes when a certain surfer bro (he's pretty Radd) shows up with his buddy that's got a mad case of the munchies and we see how this version of Earth's mightiest heroes stand up to the challenge.

While I have a lot of praise for this piece of art, I do have some minor criticisms. Steven Strange makes an awkwardly short cameo that I think they may have wanted to expand on, but didn't get the time. Not too sure, but his character seemed very underdeveloped and out of place. Also, the Peter Parker and Bruce Banner switching places all seems a little too... perfect. It's just odd that one winds up as the other and vice versa. It also does next to nothing for the story as you don't actually get to see Spider-Ban (see what I did there?) in action. I mean, Nick Fury doesn't become Mister Fantastic, and Tony Stark doesn't start dressing himself up in a flag. That being said, this is still so much better than a lot of other alternate universe story lines I've read. I can't tell you how many What If...? comic one-shots that have basically been lousy excuses for the writer to wank off a story that he thinks would be cool in a particular characters universe. They always seem to choose the most arbitrary events, change one detail, and then try to make you suspend your disbelief as they awkwardly try to explain how the reason why Spider-Man is fucking Flash Venom Thompson is because Aunt May forgot to throw out the bad milk that one time. Don't get me wrong, some of them are pretty awesome, but a lot of times it's like... How the fuck did you get here? This story, on the other hand is so excellently written that most of the switcheroos are actually very believable. For the most part, I feel like the writer did an excellent job at keeping all of the situations and history very realistic. Say, speaking of realism...

 

Musical Pairing

My musical pairing for this limited run is the song "Such Is The Mind (Of A Realist)" by Dissipate off of their EP Tectonics. This song should be arrested for attempted homicide, because I'm pretty sure the band was actually trying to kill people when they wrote this song. Not, like, in the studio or anything, but I'm pretty sure someone has died just from listening to this shit. The song starts off with an assault of heavy 8-string riffs and some tight double kick work. Lots of grit, just like the Bullet Points art. Much like the story, "Such Is The Mind" has a lot of material packed into a very small package. When I finished up the last issue, I was genuinely shocked to realize that Bullet Points had only been five issues long. Much to my surprise, when I first heard Dissipate's attempt at murder via sound, I felt like I had listened to a five or six minute long song. Nope. It clocks in at just under four minutes, but JFC does it pack a wallop. It also packs the ability to make me legitimately use the word "wallop". So, whether you're looking for the perfect soundtrack to fit with Bullet Points or you're looking for the perfect reason to use the word "wallop", I think "Such Is The Mind (Of A Realist)" just might be the song for you.

 

The End

Sorry, but no spoilers this time. I'm pretty sure I've already ruined the story enough.